Rejoicing in the Lord

 I took this picture when we visited my dad in Arizona

Yesterday I posted about John MacArthur  and listened to Jacob Prasch's teachings about all the things that we see wrong in the world, and how it is going to get much, much worse....and I know it is true and certainly we need to be in prayer about all these terrible things we see happening all around us, AND I can still be joyful in all that God does, has done, and has promised to do for all who are His.

Isaiah 61:10-11 

  

I will greatly rejoice in the LORD, 

my soul shall be joyful in my God;

 for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation,

 he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness, 

as a bridegroom decketh himself with ornaments, 

and as a bride adorneth herself with her jewels.  

For as the earth bringeth forth her bud, 

and as the garden causeth the things that are sown in it to spring forth; 

so the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise 

to spring forth before all the nations. 

Very soon it will be spring. I've planted a few seeds, some of my seedlings are doing well, and others not so well (I have more seeds so I'm gonna keep trying!) I can hardly wait to put them outside and see it all blooming adorning our little home with God's gifts in nature They are reminders from Jesus that one day all of creation will rejoice in the wonderful things He does for us.

Believing Jesus

(all scriptural texts in this post are from the King James Version)

Last post explored the first step, hearing the word, in the above list of steps of salvation. The second step according to the above is to believe Jesus.

John 8:24  I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins. 


Hebrews 11:6  But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. 

 A third passage is one that comes to mind in regards to this step:

Mark 9:23-24  Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.   And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

We are dependent on the Lord for everything (even when we fail to realize it), for the air we breath, the sun bringing warmth to our planet, plants and animals for food, our very existence even depends on Jesus. When this world changed with the fall of Eve and Adam, a breach appeared in the relationship between God and man. Now God had to seek for Adam and Eve because they hid themselves from Him, something had changed. When God called out to him Adam answered God saying that he was afraid because of his nakedness. Fear is the opposite of faith and trust. God casts them out of the beautiful Garden of Eden into a life fraught with danger and pain and sorrow, but He also gives them hope, the hope of overcoming evil, the promise of crushing it's head, but evil will still bruise Eve's offspring's heel.

Jesus is that offspring.

We all have fears, fear of heights, fear of spiders, fear of the dark, fear of public speaking, fear of death....the things you fear might not be the same things that I fear however we all have fear of something. Fear stems from our broken relationship with our Creator. The Apostle John said "Perfect love casts out all fear"

 1 John 4:18  There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Let's look at that passage:


1John 4:15-21  

Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God. 
 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us.
 God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.  
Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment:
 because as he is, so are we in this world.  
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: 
because fear hath torment. 
He that feareth is not made perfect in love.   
We love him, because he first loved us.  
 If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: 
for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, 
how can he love God whom he hath not seen?  
And this commandment have we from him, 
That he who loveth God love his brother also.



To believe Jesus, we need to seek Him continually until we find Him, even asking Him to help our unbelief because without His help we are helpless. Jesus loves us. He loves us so much He laid His life down for us. He took the worst the devil could dish out to Him, bruising His heel for us. Our unbelief comes from our broken relationship with God. Only He can repair it, and He has! By the cross. He poured out His life for us. He threw Himself on the grenade that was meant to kill us, and took the punishment for us. His perfect love removes and heals our fear, replacing it with trust, a loving trust in Him seeing what He has done for us, and that love and trust then goes out from us to others, as He has forgiven us we can now forgive others, as He has laid down His life for us we also can lay down our lives for others.

I pray that you will find that rest, that perfect peace, that removal of the fears that beset you, in that perfect love that Jesus has for all who truly come to Him.

Spiritual Gifts

My morning reading was in the book of 1 Corinthians, and it is interesting to me that the things that caused contentions then still do so even today. I guess we do not change all that much, do we?

1Co 11:18 ... when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part,
1Co 11:19  for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized.


The Lord even has a plan in this, He's got it under control even when it all looks out of whack to you and me. And we must take care when we think we have it so much better than everyone else, because all good gifts come from God, not from ourselves, and He has these things to further His kingdom, which in His kindness and generosity He has made available to us who do not deserve it, let's face it NONE OF US do.

1Co 12:22 ... the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable,
1Co 12:23  and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty,
1Co 12:24  which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it,
1Co 12:25  that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.


When we proudly wag our finger at others for their shame, shame, shame, we need to be careful (and I say this especially to myself!!!I am GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY  of this terrible offense),  because the Lord who sees all will correct the problems correctly in His time. In the meantime let us not know anything more than Jesus and that He was crucified for our sins that we might live and reign with Him forever.

1Co 2:1  And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom.
1Co 2:2  For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.
1Co 2:3  And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling,
1Co 2:4  and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power,
1Co 2:5  so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

The Aroma of Christ

  For we are the aroma of Christ to God

 among those who are being saved

 and 

among those who are perishing,  

to one a fragrance from death to death, 

to the other a fragrance from life to life. 

Who is sufficient for these things? 

For we are not, like so many, 

peddlers of God's word, 

but 

as men of sincerity, 

as commissioned by God, 

in the sight of God 

we speak in Christ. 

 2 Corinthians 2:15-17 (ESV)

My flesh longs to be accepted and loved and honored by men (people), to get awards and titles and be rewarded with money for what I do. When I'm rejected or despised, my flesh attempts to win over that person that is rejecting me, to do so for my sake, to gain back my self-respect and the love I should be receiving for the good things I think that I do... and that is consistent with the world's way, but it isn't consistent with God's way.

As a person of sincerity, speaking truly about things of God and Christ (not as the many who want to draw attention to themselves, or want to make money out of it) to be honorable before God and men (people) that truly we are all perishing, amongst those who are being saved I am a "fragrance of life"

... and amongst those who reject it I am a "fragrance of death".

I think understanding this fact keeps me on track with speaking "in Christ" because it isn't to promote me, to win me awards or attention, quite the opposite. If I am truly presenting the truth about our condition here, the vileness of our fleshy natures confronts the holiness of God. Those who love this world more than they do God will reject me just as much as they do God, and that is exactly what Jesus said would happen.

So when I get rejected and hated, 

I should rejoice

and not get angry or hurt by it. 

It reveals that I am right on track 

with God, 

and that what He says
is true

...in my life. 

On Finding Contentment With God

Many have already spoken about the modern fallacies being promoted from many modern pulpits. Some of us realize that it is foolishness to pray for worldly stuff like money or fame or even long life if it goes against the plans the Lord has already designed for us. I'm not saying having lots of money or being famous or wanting to be healthy is wrong in and of itself. What I am saying is that those things can become our god and be put in place of true worship of God. True worship, by the Biblical standard, says we will trust God even when we go through extreme hardship or poverty and lack of worldly comforts.

Again I hope that when you read what I'm saying you don't think I'm promoting being a monk, or nun, or Amish, and I'm not saying that the Lord cannot reach such persons as they mortify their flesh in these externals, but that isn't what I'm talking about.

Well then, what am I talking about? I'm....

Street Preaching Part 6: Christ Alone

Yesterday I posted about a situation regarding Tony Miano. I made an assumption regarding Lyn's removal action, which followed on the heels of that situation. She said:

Susan, for what it's worth, I am in the process of 'unfollowing' everybody on my blog...why? Because it is Christ and Christ alone I follow. I did not mean to offend you in any way, for that I do seek your forgiveness.

So for that portion of the blog entry, I am the one that needs forgiveness. I still stand by the rest of what I state. Of course it is Christ and Christ alone that we follow, all men fall short, we all need God's grace.

I work in an environment of constant gossip and backbiting. It is the nature of man. It is a horrible environment to work in. We can continue to backbite and gossip regarding all the nitpicky things we find wrong in each other. When it  involves things like outright heresy, or sexual sins inside the church the person needs correction directly. Paul confronted Peter to his face about something that he was hypocritical about, and hypocrisy requires a confrontation, as the example given in scripture. That is unpleasant for many people. Most of us like everything to be calm and peaceful all the time. Of course I would like that too, however that is not the world we live in.

I was talking with my husband about this dialogue. He said "God uses all kinds of people to preach. Some are reached  one way, and some He reaches with another approach, and in every case where a sinner realizes their need for a savior it is God who gets the glory for using people who are less than perfect" . Yes! That is the bottom line, isn't it?

 1Co 3:7  So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.
1Co 3:8  Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour.
1Co 3:9  For we are labourers together with God: ye are God's husbandry, ye are God's building.
1Co 3:10  According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon.
1Co 3:11  For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Not everyone is going to be a "masterbuilder" like Paul was, or like some of the greats like Spurgeon or even Steven Lawson. But even then, it is God working in them who gets all the credit, because it is the power of God. If then God uses men like Tony Miano, why must we then say that He cannot? And if we reluctantly admit "Well, I suppose He can, but...." No, no buts, God uses men made of sinful flesh to prick hearts of those He is reaching, and for us to question and to outright attack the means that He uses is the height of arrogance and hypocrisy.

1Co 12:14  For the body is not one member, but many.
1Co 12:15  If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
1Co 12:16  And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
1Co 12:17  If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
1Co 12:18  But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
1Co 12:19  And if they were all one member, where were the body?
1Co 12:20  But now are they many members, yet but one body.
1Co 12:21  And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
1Co 12:22  Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:
1Co 12:23  And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
1Co 12:24  For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:
1Co 12:25  That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
1Co 12:26  And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

Thankfully, I think I've exhausted the topic of Tony Miano, lol.

Hallelujah!

A Thorn in the Flesh

   Phil Johnson   talks here about how God's power and strength is perfected in our weakness. I love this site because you can listen to the sermon (by clicking link at the top of the page) and follow along in the written transcript.

The mention of the thorn in the flesh is from 2 Corinthians 12:7. This sermon covers 2 Corinthians 12: 1-12.

Excerpt:

"Now: If you're paying attention and following my outline, you might want to stop me right there. Because we're on point 2 of a three-point outline, and we're supposed to be talking about the second of three gracious gifts God gave to Paul. First was paradise. That makes sense. The second, we said, was pain. And this thorn, whatever it was, is the source of Paul's pain. So was Paul's pain a provocation from Satan, or was it a gracious gift from God?
     What's the correct answer to that question?
     Both.
     Satan meant it for evil; God meant it for good. And here is a little secret: that is true of every vexing problem the powers of darkness ever cause for you."

...

Pastor Johnson goes into the exact meaning of the word "thorn", as well as the hints in that passage that seem to say that the thorn in his flesh involved persons, false teachers (whom he calls "super apostles" ESV or eminent apostles in NASB, which he says Paul here uses in a sarcastic way to underline their abuse to the people with false teachings) which Paul brings up in chapter 11 of 2 Corinthians, and then directs it back to them in verse 11 of chapter 12.

Pastor Johnson does say that whatever the thorn is, whether it is persons, or a physical affliction, or whatever it is, because Paul describes it as a "messenger of Satan" he is saying this is some kind of spiritual attack.... and that the Lord won't remove it because...well, I'll let him tell you as it is given in the text. It is a blessing that Jesus shares with us a little of the suffering that He had to suffer. We only get a small taste of it. He bore the full effect of the suffering, the onslaught of Satan, on our behalf. How often I gripe about the little bit of suffering I have compared with what He suffered completely and unjustly on my behalf. "Oh what a foretaste of heaven divine."

More Than Dreams

Just saw this on CBN website, and have viewed these stories before, they are beautifully done, and tell a few of the stories of how Jesus is touching some Muslims to bring them to understanding the truth about Himself. You can see the full videos online, and recommend them very highly:

http://www.morethandreams.org/index.html

Love Your Enemies

Mat 5:43  Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
Mat 5:44  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Mat 5:45  That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
Mat 5:46  For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
Mat 5:47  And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
Mat 5:48  Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

I think  we've all heard preaching on this topic, from the Beatitudes, and the story of the good Samaritan. But can we be honest a moment? Who of us actually loves those who are nasty and cruel and hateful towards ourselves? I get a failing grade here. It's easy to be a "good Christian" to those who are nice, and who treat us with love and respect. Not so much with that other kind of person, the ones who would spit in your face given half a chance.

God has tested me over and over on this one, and I fail each time.

In another situation, Jesus disciples asked Him:

 Mat 19:25  When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved?



 and I take comfort in Jesus' answer (I know this isn't a salvation issue....):

Mat 19:26  But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

Perfection Part 3

Mat 5:43  Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
Mat 5:44  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Mat 5:45  That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
Mat 5:46  For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
Mat 5:47  And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
Mat 5:48  Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Those words sound nice as the pastor reads them in front of the congregation, and everyone nods their head and smiles at the person in the next pew. And then everyone goes home, and looks with scorn on the young woman with a child out of wedlock, or the homosexual and his "partner". Easier said than done....

What does it mean, to "love your enemy"? Does it mean you agree with everything he or she says and does? Does Jesus agree with everything I say and do? I should freely exclaim that is not the case at all. Then how can I quote those verses above and say we are to be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect?

I was watching a talk show while I was working out yesterday, and there was a woman and her daughter who had lost another daughter because the daughter's ex-boyfriend and his new fiance murdered her viciously. The mother and brother of the fiance was on the set of this program, sitting quite a distance apart from the mother and daughter. They also connected by video to the fiance daughter/sister at her prison where they say she will be for the next 18 years. The fiance said she was sorry. Honestly, she didn't truly seem sorry to me, and her words still sounded like she didn't feel like it was her fault. On this show they described how she participated in the murder. They described how she joined the all day vigils while they were searching for her, and helped in the searches. The mother and daughter told of their heartfelt anger and their doubt in the truth of the sorrow and asking for forgiveness because the fiance's mom never apologized until the time of this broadcast, and that the boy's mom and dad immediately came to her to say how terribly sorry they were. The mom, brother, and fiance had ugly looks on their faces, and were not attractive to begin with. It was easy to dislike them, and think "They aren't sorry! They are guilty as sin and are not a bit sorry...but somehow just want to get sympathy for their terrible daughter/sister" ...and then I remember the parable:


Mat 18:21  Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
Mat 18:22  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Mat 18:23  Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
Mat 18:24  And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.
Mat 18:25  But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
Mat 18:26  The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
Mat 18:27  Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.
Mat 18:28  But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.
Mat 18:29  And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
Mat 18:30  And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
Mat 18:31  So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.
Mat 18:32  Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:
Mat 18:33  Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?
Mat 18:34  And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
Mat 18:35  So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

I might be able to fake it....but if I were that mom or that sister, I confess that I would have a really hard time forgiving that girl and her family. It came out (and she denies it) that she was the primary instigator in the murder. She did not want the girl alive because she thought her fiance might still have feelings for her and wanted the ultimate proof that he no longer loved her. But she is asking for forgiveness, regardless of how terrible the circumstances and how much we may dislike her, she is looking for forgiveness....and so thinking on the words of Jesus, and the impossibility of my own fleshy reaction to this situation, I would ask, as His disciples asked Him in another situation:

Mat 19:25  When his disciples heard it, they were exceedingly amazed, saying, Who then can be saved? 

and the answer from Jesus:

Mat 19:26  But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

I have my people that I am struggling with to forgive. They have not asked for my forgiveness, but should that stop me from having a forgiving heart?  Does that mean what they did wasn't wrong? Does it mean that I agree with what they did and accept the wrongs as right? No. It just simply means that I know what they did was wrong, and I let it go to God, and say with Jesus: "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do"

In This World You Will Have Trouble

Today I met a patient who was in his early forties and was very worried that the illness he is experiencing will lead to his early death. He was very scared. I prayed for words and said:

 "Jesus said in this world you will have trouble", and He was right. Whenever you have trouble you can say "Jesus, You were right".

 Also I was reminded, and so reminded this young man, that we are not owed anything. God does not owe us tomorrow. We didn't even deserve to be born in the first place. How could we deserve something before even ever having been born??? He admitted that is true, and that He is always reading the Bible to try to find out what he needs to know. I told him that I know that I'm not thankful enough, that we must always be thankful for His forgiveness and His kindness toward us. He agreed :)

Next time I find myself in terrible circumstances, I hope I will also remember that Jesus told us that "in this world you (I) will have trouble". Thankfully, it is temporary, just like everything else is in this world. While we are here we too are temporary, but Jesus promised us a better future in a permanent home with Him. Halleluja!

Perfection Part 2

 Link

See  "Perfection" (part 1)

A favorite saying of mine is: "We are all wrong about something". There was a time that I felt it important to argue a point to death if I knew I was right and the other person wrong, that the Lord desired me to do so, that it is THE WAY that I can make sure that I make the truth known to all men and women who cross my path....but is that truly the way the Lord wants me to handle the truth? And even if I'm 100% sure I am right, and the other person wrong, doesn't the Bible say that my heart is deceitful above all things?

Jeremiah 17:9  The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

So how do I know for sure that perhaps I am deceiving myself on this point that I think I have a corner on the truth about?

And then there's this one:

Romans 12:16  Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits.

Ouch! Well that shoe pinches a bit. "Be not wise in your own conceits" indeed! I've visited blogs where it seems the blogger thinks he/she has it most right, and everyone who doesn't agree is against God Himself....and like I said, I've been there (I say this to my shame). I honestly felt that if I didn't set people straight, that I was not doing my Christian duty.

Ok, I know I won't convince anyone else of what they should or shouldn't do, however I do know Someone who can, in His time, and all He asks of me is to watch and to pray, and to pray especially for my enemies. He also asks me to make sure I have my spiritual house in order (not other people's). If I can help others, such as showing them some kindness, any kind of wrongdoing will convict their own conscience by the Lord's doing it in a way and  a time He knows is best. I guess that truly is a better way than arguing all the time. ;-)

The Ethical Will of Eleazar of Mayence Part 3

 Link to image this link dovetails very nicely with

this topic, be sure to check it out :)

See "The Ethical Will of Eleazar of Mayence" (Part 1)
and "The Ethical Will of Eleazar of Mayence" (Part 2)

This next part is something I'm currently having a huge struggle with, and the Lord has been very graciously working on me about it:

Excerpt from my (previously mentioned) book:

"I earnestly beg my children to be tolerant and humble to all, as I was throughout my life. Should cause for dissension arise, be slow to accept the quarrel. Seek peace and pursue it with all the vigor at your command. Even if you suffer loss thereby, forbear and forgive, for God has many ways of feeding and sustaining His creatures. To the slanderer do not retaliate with counter-attack; and though it be proper to rebut false accusations, yet is it most desirable to set an example of reticence. You yourselves must avoid uttering any slander, for so will you win affection. In trade be honest, never grasping at what belongs to another. For by avoing these wrongs--scandal, falsehood, money-grubbing--men will surely find tranquility and affection. And against all evils, silence is the best safeguard."

This portion: Even if you suffer loss thereby, forbear and forgive, for God has many ways of feeding and sustaining His creatures. Is something that God has been impressing on my resisting heart lately as something I need to understand and trust that it isn't as serious as I'm making it, and that I need to be at peace and trust Him with everything. I still want to take things into my own hands and right all the wrongs (perceived and true) in my life, instead of watching and praying. 

And against all evils, silence is the best safeguard. I have such a tough time with that one. Remember the saying: "Evil triumphs when good men say nothing"??? sigh. It goes so contrary to what I think I must do (i.e. yell at wrongdoers at the top of my lungs so they will be embarrassed for their wrongdoing and repent from their evil ways, sheesh). Yeah, ok, that hasn't worked yet...there's another saying:

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

Joy

When I first wake up in the morning I usually look, and feel, my worst. If I were to see myself the way others would see me I'm sure I would scare myself to near death. And the thoughts that go through my head (!!!): grumble, grumble, grumble; this or that aches, I'm too cold, I'm too hot, I've gotta do __________ (before leaving for work)...and this morning was no different. It is so much a part of my morning "me" that I don't even notice it. This morning, I was made very aware of it.

When I got up this morning, it was the usual.

Thoughts that jumble in my brain:

1. about something that has been a thorn at my side at work

2. the thoughts meander to the fact that I don't have a joyful demeanor, and  I  think on that, that people should see me endure things better than I do, that I shouldn't be so grumpy. One day last week one of the girls (my daughter's age, well a little younger actually) told me "You shouldn't be so mean"....really? Me? Mean? I kinda blew it off because I really couldn't see it.

3. so my thoughts, still sorting through this stuff and trying to justify myself, thought "well when tshtf I will have been exercised and strengthened by all the B.S. enough so that when others are terrified I will be at peace, maybe even joyful"

and then this thought entered into my thoughts (believe me when I say that I know my thoughts in the morning and they do not reflect that which entered into them, to my sorrow and shame, and I pray that the Lord will continue to work with me on that):

"THE JOY OF THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGTH"

That appears only once in the Bible. It occurs when the book of the law is read to the people, and they cry because of their conviction of their errors and sins, and Nehemiah tells them not to cry:

 Neh 8:8  So they read in the book in the law of God distinctly, and gave the sense, and caused them to understand the reading.

Neh 8:9  And Nehemiah, which is the Tirshatha, and Ezra the priest the scribe, and the Levites that taught the people, said unto all the people, This day is holy unto the LORD your God; mourn not, nor weep. For all the people wept, when they heard the words of the law.

Neh 8:10  Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; 
 for the joy of the LORD is your strength.

I don't believe the Lord wants us to be fake "Pollyannas" who put on a happy face to pretend everything is wonderful, all-the-while pushing down our anger, despair, hopelessness, etc. I believe He wants us to have His joy that is in Him truly, a joy that is founded on Him and strengthened by Him.

I only get little glimpses of that joy. I think the main reason for this  is because of the fact that I often forget to count my blessings and to be grateful for what He has done and continues to do for me.

The last few days I've been reading a little book (which I got from Ebay when I purchased a whole box full of books for about $60 dollars a couple of years ago, what a treasure of books I received!!!) entitled: "Bar Mitzvah Treasury: The Jewish Heritage as Set Down in Story, Legend & Essay". Each short chapter is simply delightful. The chapter that is titled "Eleazar of Mayence Leaves a Will" is wonderful, full of excellent advice that I need to prayerfully ask the Lord to help me incorporate these valuable gems into my every day life.

I hope to later give some excerpts from this wonderful will...or if anyone has more information about the ethical will of Eleazar of Mayence, (a link to this would be wonderful!) please do share!

The Glory of the Lord

Hab_2:14  For the earth shall be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD, as the waters cover the sea.


Yesterday (Christmas Day) was a little gloomy for me... well, I had to work, not my favorite place to be by any stretch of the imagination ESPECIALLY on Christmas Day.....and I was also thinking about all the various people that would just love to do away with Christmas altogether, baby Jesus and all.....so I'm driving to work, and the sky is covered by small gray clouds with little peekholes into the bright blue sky behind it, and the sun was extremely bright behind and above those gray clouds, causing bright and beautiful rays of sunlight to shine through in long ribbons to the ground. It was extraordinarily GORGEOUS!!! and it made me so sorry that I couldn't capture it with my camera (left it at home)...besides, I was driving on the expressway so taking a picture would have been risky and probably wouldn't have turned out good either, lol.... but it sort of looked like this (only even more beautiful)

....and then the thought that all the dark, little, gray clouds in my life that I find so troublesome and cumbersome are there to help me see God's glory shine even more brightly in everything....and He reminded me of Romans 8:28.

God is sooooo good. :)

Joseph's Troubles

Last night was an especially dark night for me at work.... in fact, the whole weekend was horrible. There's an individual that I've had trouble with which the Lord has been working with me on (I mention it here ). And I know that she (and a couple of others) have turned the story around and have told the newbies at work false c**p about me. So yeah, I pray about it, but every day I dread going to work. This weekend brought this situation to a head for me. I felt trapped in a really bad situation, and it feels like the new people fresh out of xray school (one is slightly older than my oldest granddaughter) treat me like I don't know the first thing about my job, and are telling me what to do like they are the senior techs. ARE you K-I-D-D-I-N-G me? Really?

Last night on the way home from work, I was still a bit bothered by the situation. When I was getting ready for bed, I was muttering my frustration to the Lord by saying "I know how I'm SUPPOSED to be, but that isn't me. I can pretend to be above all of that, but honestly I'm being crushed under it. Please help me be the person I'm supposed to be. Please help me bear this burden in a way that honors You."

I awoke this morning to the thought of Joseph.... no details, just "Remember Joseph"... so I thought about Joseph. Joseph was treated terribly by his brothers, and sent into slavery. But God blessed him and he found a good job working for a wealthy Egyptian. He had everything going for him, but the wife of the wealthy Egyptian had it out for him. She lied about him to her husband to cover herself (boy can I relate to this situation) and he ended up getting sent to prison (dungeons in those days, which I'm sure make the prisons of today seem luxurious in comparison). Joseph suffered for years under that burden, but he made the best of it, and the Lord blessed him for it....but he endured many years of darkness in an Egyptian prison system before being elevated out of that situation.Every time things got bad for Joseph, it turned out for good, but then would become something even worse than before, which would then turn out for good, and again become EVEN WORSE....and then ultimately after MUCH SUFFERING, it turned out excellent....I think I'm in the EVEN WORSE phase so the MUCH SUFFERING part is still to come....sigh....

AND, yesterday, when I was reading the book of Amos during my lunch break, I came across this:

"the prudent shall keep silence in that time; for it [is] an evil time" Amos 5:13

Up to this point in time, I haven't been prudent, and haven't suffered this very silently. I have been bitter about what has happened to me there, and am constantly trying to watch my back around "certain people", and that list keeps growing there.

So the thought to "Remember Joseph" was a perfect fit for what I need to do...and which also helps me  with Amos 5:13, but only if it is the Lord (Truth) doing it not through my flesh (the flesh has me faking it to try to appear righteous, with my "I'm doing this and look at how good I am while I am suffering for the sake of these idiots" routine). 

"Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This [is] the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts." Zechariah 4:6

The Truth does set me free.

Blessings through tears

How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation?

Heb 2:1  Therefore we ought to give the more earnest heed to the things which we have heard, lest at any time we should let them slip.
Heb 2:2  For if the word spoken by angels was stedfast, and every transgression and disobedience received a just recompence of reward;
Heb 2:3  How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him;
Heb 2:4  God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with divers miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?
Heb 2:5  For unto the angels hath he not put in subjection the world to come, whereof we speak.
Heb 2:6  But one in a certain place testified, saying, What is man, that thou art mindful of him? or the son of man, that thou visitest him?
Heb 2:7  Thou madest him a little lower than the angels; thou crownedst him with glory and honour, and didst set him over the works of thy hands:
Heb 2:8  Thou hast put all things in subjection under his feet. For in that he put all in subjection under him, he left nothing that is not put under him. But now we see not yet all things put under him.
Heb 2:9  But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels for the suffering of death, crowned with glory and honour; that he by the grace of God should taste death for every man.
Heb 2:10  For it became him, for whom are all things, and by whom are all things, in bringing many sons unto glory, to make the captain of their salvation perfect through sufferings.
Heb 2:11  For both he that sanctifieth and they who are sanctified are all of one: for which cause he is not ashamed to call them brethren,
Heb 2:12  Saying, I will declare thy name unto my brethren, in the midst of the church will I sing praise unto thee.
Heb 2:13  And again, I will put my trust in him. And again, Behold I and the children which God hath given me.
Heb 2:14  Forasmuch then as the children are partakers of flesh and blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is, the devil;
Heb 2:15  And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage.

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This is one of "those passages" that is brought up by those who believe we can "lose our salvation". All things need to be taken together and in context. Jesus says He will never lose those who are His. He does, however, also give warnings. We can lose spiritual blessings and gifts, and perhaps some people might risk the loss of these in desiring the temporary satisfactions of the lusts of the flesh over those gifts that are precious and from God. I'm not saying I have this down perfectly, and that I am going to receive all spiritual gifts God is desirous for me to have. This is an area that He does give us some free range to botch it up, and I do believe that His love and grace covers a multitude of sins. However, I also believe that we can have alot more joy and peace if we don't "neglect so great a salvation" which have been affirmed through the signs of His forgiving grace in our lives.

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1Pe 4:1  Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;
1Pe 4:2  That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts of men, but to the will of God.
1Pe 4:3  For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:
1Pe 4:4  Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you:
1Pe 4:5  Who shall give account to him that is ready to judge the quick and the dead.
1Pe 4:6  For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.
1Pe 4:7  But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer.
1Pe 4:8  And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
1Pe 4:9  Use hospitality one to another without grudging.
1Pe 4:10  As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
1Pe 4:11  If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
1Pe 4:12  Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
1Pe 4:13  But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.
1Pe 4:14  If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.
1Pe 4:15  But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters.
1Pe 4:16  Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.
1Pe 4:17  For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?
1Pe 4:18  And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and the sinner appear?
1Pe 4:19  Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.

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When the time comes for suffering and tribulation we will rejoice and not think it is God punishing us because He hates us, but rather that He is allowing us the privilege of partaking of the suffering that Christ also suffered. That knowledge and that intimacy will sustain us through the worst of time, and ultimately through our pains of physical death, the end of our mortality here. That intimacy will free us from the manipulations of those who will try to force their earthly powers over us to try to subject us to their will. They will have no power over us because they can kill our bodies but they can never kill our soul, nor separate us from the love of Jesus.

Think On These Things....

Php 4:4  Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.
Php 4:5  Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
Php 4:6  Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Php 4:7  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Php 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Php 4:9  Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

This week both of the courses I'm taking at the local community college are on the topic of  "paraphilias" and homosexuality, and it really got to me. I feel like I'm wallowing in the sewers and have been feeling depressed. This morning I awoke thinking about the words in Philippians 4:8 and it wasn't reprimanding, it was a comforting voice, a voice that said, "I am still here". After I finish the few courses that I am taking here, I have to search out a good college where I can continue on towards a master's degree, but I will look, with the Lord's guidance and assistance, for a place which teaches things that are more in line with Philippians 4:8.

It Is Well With My Soul