Last night was an especially dark night for me at work.... in fact, the whole weekend was horrible. There's an individual that I've had trouble with which the Lord has been working with me on (I mention it here ). And I know that she (and a couple of others) have turned the story around and have told the newbies at work false c**p about me. So yeah, I pray about it, but every day I dread going to work. This weekend brought this situation to a head for me. I felt trapped in a really bad situation, and it feels like the new people fresh out of xray school (one is slightly older than my oldest granddaughter) treat me like I don't know the first thing about my job, and are telling me what to do like they are the senior techs. ARE you K-I-D-D-I-N-G me? Really?
Last night on the way home from work, I was still a bit bothered by the situation. When I was getting ready for bed, I was muttering my frustration to the Lord by saying "I know how I'm SUPPOSED to be, but that isn't me. I can pretend to be above all of that, but honestly I'm being crushed under it. Please help me be the person I'm supposed to be. Please help me bear this burden in a way that honors You."
I awoke this morning to the thought of Joseph.... no details, just "Remember Joseph"... so I thought about Joseph. Joseph was treated terribly by his brothers, and sent into slavery. But God blessed him and he found a good job working for a wealthy Egyptian. He had everything going for him, but the wife of the wealthy Egyptian had it out for him. She lied about him to her husband to cover herself (boy can I relate to this situation) and he ended up getting sent to prison (dungeons in those days, which I'm sure make the prisons of today seem luxurious in comparison). Joseph suffered for years under that burden, but he made the best of it, and the Lord blessed him for it....but he endured many years of darkness in an Egyptian prison system before being elevated out of that situation.Every time things got bad for Joseph, it turned out for good, but then would become something even worse than before, which would then turn out for good, and again become EVEN WORSE....and then ultimately after MUCH SUFFERING, it turned out excellent....I think I'm in the EVEN WORSE phase so the MUCH SUFFERING part is still to come....sigh....
AND, yesterday, when I was reading the book of Amos during my lunch break, I came across this:
"the prudent shall keep silence in that time; for it [is] an evil time" Amos 5:13
Up to this point in time, I haven't been prudent, and haven't suffered this very silently. I have been bitter about what has happened to me there, and am constantly trying to watch my back around "certain people", and that list keeps growing there.
"Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This [is] the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts." Zechariah 4:6
The Truth does set me free.