I had once heard somewhere (I really can't remember where anymore.... so I apologize that I cannot give the source) that our lives are like books that we are writing for others to read (just like the Bible records the lives of people in other times and the things that God did for them and through them). I am writing my own book with how I live each day, each day is a journal entry into the book of my life that is written into the sands of time (think of the sandy beach in the footprints poem... and the sands moving down through an hourglass) each day is leaving it's imprint in the story of my life.
....As such, am I happy with my book so far? Is it one that I want others to read?
The Bible has many references to lives lived many years ago, and tells the whole story. It tells of both the good and the bad that had happened, and also tells how the Lord intervened in the lives which are on display in it's pages. We can see the highs and the lows of what the flesh can do and how it all falls short, because in the end Jesus needed to die to redeem all that was so hopelessly lost. Even King David who was a man after God's own heart, made some very tragic decisions that caused him sorrow and shame, but the Lord used him as a key person in Jesus' family tree.
When I think of all of the pages of MY book, there are pages I would like to tear out and never let anyone see because I would be horrified to show off my shame. But when I picture it from God's perspective, seeing it as revealing His love and compassion of HOW MUCH God is able to forgive, it tells a different story. It tells a story of reclamation and of the incredible success in spite of impossible odds against it.
This brings to my mind:
Luk 7:36 And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee's house, and sat down to meat.
Luk 7:37 And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of ointment,
Luk 7:38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.
Luk 7:39 Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.
Luk 7:40 And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on.
Luk 7:41 There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty.
Luk 7:42 And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most?
Luk 7:43 Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged.
Luk 7:44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head.
Luk 7:45 Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet.
Luk 7:46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment.
Luk 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.
Luk 7:48 And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven.
The passage above doesn't say what the pharisee's sins were, but I imagine that he had terrible sins just like anyone else...but let's just say he didn't, that he lived an almost perfect life...and didn't need God's forgiveness (or so he thought)...his self-justification blocked the love Jesus wanted to bestow upon him, and not only that, Jesus said "to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little" ...
Wow.
You mean to tell me if I live a scrupulous life and have very little that I need forgiveness for, that actually works against me??? What?
Let's look at another one:
Luk 18:9 And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
Luk 18:10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
Luk 18:11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
Luk 18:12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
Luk 18:13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
Luk 18:14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Luk 18:10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
Luk 18:11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
Luk 18:12 I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
Luk 18:13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
Luk 18:14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Is your life one that you would be embarrassed to have published? Then how much more wonderful it would be read your book with the addition of the love bestowed through Jesus. Then we see all these things in the proper context of forgiveness, and the love that it grows in us (His recipients) as a result of that wonderful forgiveness that reached so deep that all those many horrible things are now turned into the beautiful gold of all that love which gets returned to Him in our answers to His generosity.
This is something I've thought about a lot. There are many pages I wish weren't in my book, either.
ReplyDeleteBut then again, I think there is a time to put the past past. I don't think everyone MUST know everything about our old dirty deeds, although as you pointed out, there were details written about David and Moses.
I think of the sinful woman who washed His feet. There is no detail put in, Jesus knew, she knew, I wonder if that is all that is needed sometimes.
He knows all of us so well and what He wants to do with our pasts, too.
Hi Ma,
DeleteI agree, there are some details that wouldn't do anyone any good knowing about, and true about Jesus knowing it all, but not necessarily telling everything in morbid detail.
The main thing that I was thinking about is how God DOES see and know about all the minutia of every ugly detail, and the more we understand just how much we were forgiven, the more thanksgiving it brings and love for God and others as a result. The less we think we need forgiven, and the better we think we are, the less love we have in our heart as a result.
;-)
Great post. I imagine that most of us struggle with feelings of shame and guilt, and it is difficult for many of us to discuss these feelings even with those closest to us. Although I have struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life, I have been extremely reluctant to discuss my struggle even with close friends. I only recently began to open up about it a bit about it publicly - on a blog of all places. I still haven't talked with many close friends about it. Earlier today, I thought about deleting the blogpost and possibly even closing my blog, as I was so uncomfortable sharing about my depression and anxiety. However, my wife, who is very wise, reminded me of a few things. First, she reminded me that I eventually need to start talking with other people about my problems. Second, I need to stop being ashamed and guilty for these things. Third, I'm not perfect, and I need to accept myself as I am. Well, as I said, my wife is quite wise, and while this advice might not have hit the mark a few months ago, it did today. I think that we all need to consider this advice. It is difficult to know what to share, and with whom. I still have some mixed feelings about blogs, and it probably makes sense to think very carefully about what you say online. But if something is causing you pain or interfering with your spiritual life, you should discuss it with someone, even if only at a general level, omitting many details. As far as our books go, we have all sinned against God, and we have all crucified Christ, but none of that will matter when we come face-to-face with our Creator. In fact, for those who have received God's forgiveness, it really doesn't matter now except insofar as it causes us pain. And God is eager to help heal that.
ReplyDeleteHi Leslie,
DeleteI agree with you that we need to be careful in how we share things...I was thinking of all of this more along the lines of God does indeed see every ugly detail, and saw nothing good in us at all, although our vanity still wants to cling to an idea that there is something good that is of ourselves, if we are honest, like the woman that washed Jesus feet with her tears, or the publican, we would confess full well that the only good that is in us is God's gift of love and forgiveness that is Him shining through us.
Also, it isn't about any of us, so in that respect, again, yelling from the rooftops about all our dirty deeds is not what it's all about...it is all about Jesus forgiveness, and being fully honest about that. If our heart has come truly to that place that recognizes and accepts fully the ugliness of our sins and how God saw it all, in minute detail, and yet forgives it, then our lives reflect the love we have for Him in response to His love, and it is His love pouring out of us in response to His love.
The way John the Baptist put it: "I must decrease, and He must increase"
The fact that we are (on our own, given to our own devices) dirty, is a given. The fact that Jesus has cleansed all of our sins is also a fact that He paid for in obedience to the Father and it was terribly painful and cost Him alot.... it must have in order for it to mean anything to us. But He paid it in full. It's all about Him, the book of our lives, and everywhere there are terrible things recorded, these are blotted over with His blood with the word forgiven.
I think the clearer we understand that truly in a real honest and humbled way, He really does increase in us, as we fully understand that we are nothing without Him. :)
Very well said. I really can't add anything to that.
ReplyDelete